Wednesday, March 2, 2011

2..... the greatest number in the world :)

Progress, progress, progress!! Today I weighed myself, just over one year since I started this and there is a 2 on my scale! I am officially 299 this morning- and no worries, I checked again tonight just to make sure at it was still 299!
I wont lie, I have been busting my tail to get theses 60+ pounds that I have lost, and while in a perfect world I would have lost more than that in a whole year, but I am grateful in all things.
I have learned such a good deal about myself throughout this thing. I have learned how quickly I can go into "poor me" mode and believe as though my journey is harder than anyone else's, and there is not a single thing about me that is special in comparison to someone else. I have learned that some of my terrible habits i have passed on to my son- but thankfully he is changing too. I have learned that as long as I take care of me and worry about me, I can fix most problems in my life- basically because I can take myself out of the mix and let Him take over for me then I will be just fine. The first three steps are 1. I cant, 2. He can, 3, I'll let Him. Now, I struggle a good deal with the whole I'll let Him, but lets just face it, for those of you who know what a control freak I am you know that me just admitting that I cant is a big deal.
The main thing I think that I have learned is to be grateful. I have been blessed beyond measure as I embark on this journey. I have amazing friends who have always been around that help to keep me motivated. But a new addition is an incredible amount of ladies that I have met at Zumba. Without a doubt Zumba has saved my life in more ways that one. I am blessed with my husband who has stood behind me the whole way and does his best to be encouraging- now he doesn't really understand that it isn't super fun to watch him eat an ENTIRE box of girl scout cookies (yes an entire box), but he does believe that he is helping me because if he eats the whole box then there isn't any left for me to have. Bless his heart. And even my son tries to be supportive. The other day I got out of the car with him after class and I said "ouch" and he says "Oh did she work you crazy tonight". I said, "yup she worked me crazy tonight" He then says "You are sure getting into shape, your shape is getting smaller." He then puts his arms around me and is so excited when he says "mommy I can touch my fingers together when I hug you." Now, that alone made me cry, but what was even better was when my husband got home, he says "Daddy look" and showed him that he could touch his fingers when he put his hands around me. God forgive me if I ever complain about anything in my life. What a precious little guy I have there.
I certainly have not arrived, or completed this journey, but this is the first time in my life that I have ever stuck with something. Every other time I attempt to "diet" it lasts usually no more than a month or two. I give up so easily and I refuse to give up until i have reached my goal. My next goal is 250- and I am sure that once I get there then I will have to add another 25-35 pounds.. Thank God I am so tall!!!
The greatest quote ever- "Let us rise up and be grateful, for if we didn't learn alot today, at least we learned a little. If we didn't learn a little then at least we didn't get sick. And if we got sick at least we didn't die. So let us all be thankful"- Buddha
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference!!!