Sins of the mother

Okay, all excuses aside, I am just terrible at keeping up with this. Could be that I am lazy, and I will just admit it (as though it isn't obvious to those of you who know me).

I am still doing well and am down another two pounds from the last time that I wrote, but am holding firm that it is "that time of the month" and there is some water weight that is hanging out there affecting that number.

I remind myself often that in all reality I lost 20 pounds in 2 months, so I am pretty proud of that and that is what helps keep me motivated to continue in the change process. I do have to say though that the change process is still difficult for. I do find that I am attempting to talk myself into splurges, and have caved from time to time, but definitely pay for it later. A perfect example is the other day I was not in my normal element and didn't get to pick awesome choices for my eating for day. I will admit and take full ownership that I could have done better than I did. I ate an apple fritter for breakfast (ohh from hy-vee so yummy), mcdonalds chicken nuggets (10 piece, yes I said 10 piece-shame shame) and french fries for lunch, and little ceasers pizza (2 pieces and about 4 breadsticks) for supper. Ridiculous day I know. But I totally paid for it later. I was so sick, in all areas (so lets not elaborate, right!!). I was up all night long. I learned a couple of things from this fateful day. First being that when I had been allowing myself to cheat before it was never the whole day, so I have been learning how to make boundaries and not go over board, and a treat is just that a treat. Second being that it doesn't take your body long to learn that "hey this stuff doesn't belong here", while your brain still says "this is the most heavenly morsels that God ever created". (My brain thinks in detail when it comes to food!!:). The last being that I was being terrible to my body before. That meal, in all reality, was a good deal LESS that what I could have normally eaten in a day prior to this life change. My average day before this looked a bit like this (sharing embarrassing stuff hasn't gotten any easier either): Breakfast-two iced honey buns and a large coffee with cream and caramel syrup; usually some sort of snack before lunch; Lunch-a package of Ramen Noodles (mmmmm) a bagel with turkey and cheese, chips and some sort of sweetness for desert; Supper-Spaghetti (heaping plate full of pasta) smothered in shredded cheese, a salad, and bread (several pieces of garlic bread), then usually some sort of snack afterwards before bed, maybe even an entire bad of microwave popcorn (extra butter of course). It is awful to even write this down, and I wondered why I was so big. I was so delusional that I could look in the mirror and be like "where did all this come from?"

What I am afraid of now, because I had no concept of portion control or healthy eating, I passed that very unhealthy trait on to my unsuspecting 5 year old, giving him excessive amounts of food simply because I didn't understand healthy portions. He by no means is overweight so I am not worried about that because he is a wonderfully active little boy, but he is a big boy (brick shit house comes to mind!). So when I think about how I would like to give up I think of him and remember that it is not his fault I am unhealthy and he shouldn't have to learn that same bad behavior. So more changes to come in the Short house, and we are all on board.

What amazing things we can learn about ourselves if we chose to take a second and realize that we are not perfect, we have flaws, and we can all stand to grow some out of our box.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.