Step 3 (its just you and me)

Overall, I have to first say that today was a GREAT day in comparison to yesterday.

Step 3- "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

My will. That thing that gets me into trouble all the time. The idea that in all situations my opinion is wanted or even requested. The idea that my way of doing things is the right way (do NOT tell my husband that this is not the truth:))! The idea that I must have all that I want, not just what I need. Those (and many other thinking errors that I have) are what my will consists of. What I want when I want it. When you put it on paper that sounds way worse and almost childlike, which is why I don't want to admit that I totally think like that.

Someone told me when I was pregnant that it would change my life completely once my little one was born. People always say that you no longer live for yourself, but your child. That is the truth. The decisions that I would have made in the past are not the decisions that I made now because I had the responsibility for someone else under me. I had to understand that the decisions that I made couldn't be in my best interest, but his. It changes what you view as important. He trusts me with making the right decisions for his life. He believes that I have his best interest at hear when making decisions, and the real kicker is that he doesn't always like those decisions.

I do not like being told that my way of doing things isn't the right way. I don't like being told that I am wrong (which no worries, it doesn't happen often!). I don't like being told that my opinion is not always necessary (again not something that happens much!!). I don't like being told that there are not great things about me. But I have to believe that there is Someone that can make better decisions in all situations and should I just seek out their advice then my life would be a whole lot easier. My thought is is that if He can figure out how to create the entire universe and every thing in it, and keep it running every day then He certainly can control my little life.

Like I said before my belief in God makes these initial steps easier for me. If your Higher Power isn't God, then I don't know how to explain it to you, other than, we are the ones that made a mess of our lives. If we knew the right way to do it then we wouldn't have made it a mess in the first place. We need help to clean up the mess. Just like my son doesn't always like the decisions I make for him, or he doesn't understand them, deep down I know that he knows that I love him and his best interest is at heart~ so it is with my Higher Power, I don't necessarily understand or like the decisions, or think that I can do it better, but my way causes more trouble than not my way.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.