Step 9

Step 9- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

I really don't know what to write about this step outside of who I need to make amends to and I already did that. In order for me to make amends to the people that I need to (gunner and bryan) is for me to live my amends. Live my life like I want to be alive for a while. Understanding that me sticking with these changes is to their benefit because I will still be around. And lets face it, it would be a benefit to every ones life if I was still around. :)

The idea about amends that people get confused with is they think that it simply means saying sorry. It is kind of like saying that you love some one. You don't just say it, you have to show that you love them.

Today was just another day where I was hating this whole diet thing. I was getting frustrated and angry that I couldn't order lunch with everyone else!! How pitiful am I. As I was realizing how foolish it was to be angry about not being able to eat, I realized that I am not only doing this for me but for my family. I refuse to talk out both sides of my mouth and say how much I love Gunner and then kill myself with food.

I am doing well, and no matter how much I have complained I have stuck with this whole thing from the go. I wont lie, the exercise is not as often as it was, but still doing that, and yoga 3 times a week at work (whoever said that was relaxing what high because it is so NOT!!). I continue to watch calories and keep under about 2000 every day, so I think that is pretty good. Snacks remain at a minimum, and only healthy things. For the most part I am not indulging in any cravings, so that I am proud of. Yay me!!!!

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.