So this weekend was not a good one for me. I wish that I had read all the handy comments that people gave me about "treating" myself to Chinese food on Friday night. I however did not and I ate Chinese food!! Once I did that it was almost like I awoke the sleeping tiger and overall did not so great this weekend. Now, it was still better than a normal weekend (making excuses comes very natural to me!!), but not as good as I was doing. What I did learn is a very valuable lesson, that once I cheat, it is a downward spiral from there. I also learned that when I was eating I was depressed because all I could think of what how good I had been doing, and then having to come here on Monday and tell everyone, a whole 3 weeks into this I have already messed up!!
As I said, I learned a valuable lesson though. If I go back to treating food as some sort of reward that is the same twisted thinking that I had before. Remember Anna, food is for survival. Other things must be treats. I am grateful for wonderful friends, all who gave me great advice (that i read to late). Thanks Jennifer for the idea of other treats and I will have to do that. I need incentive to continue in this journey not just the whole "you'll feel so much better". Whoever thought of that saying was NEVER fat and understood that this is the most miserable process that any fatty can go through!!! That is why we stay fat because we were happy then, and miserable now!! What a process this is, and how silly I am to expect quick results and in only 3 weeks expect my whole lifetime worth of thinking to change in that time.
In treatment we reference this as a "treatment high". People get excited about making change, but they aren't realistic about how difficult it will be. That is me.
Now I have a couple of options I can either fall back and give up (which is what I normally do) OR I can be honest with my self and others and then get "back on the wagon" hmm, I think I will choose the second.
I'm back on the wagon, hoping to not fall off.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
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good job man. I am glad you are back on the wagon. I will try and come up with some more "rewards" for you that are not food related. I am sure there is some really awesome list out there. And, just so you know for future reference, Chinese has a lot of really good healthy menu items you can have, if you are willing to stay away from the won-tons.
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